My Thank You List for 2020

 

Well, 2020 has finally come to an end which means it's now time for my thank you list for 2020. This year has not gone how anyone predicted and will be talked about for years to come with COVID changing the way we live our lives. 

So much has happened in 2020 and it was a mixed bag for me, some good, some bad and a lot of lessons learned.

We (or more specifically I) tend to focus on the unfortunate events that cause bumps in our journey, so this list will steer away from that and focus on all the things I am grateful for instead of focusing on the negatives that plagued 2020 worldwide.

I'm thankful to my friends and family for all the love, support and guidance you have shown me in 2020. There were times in 2020 where I lost faith in myself, but you guys never did, and your support has helped me get through.

Thank you so much for everything you have done for me, I know we haven't been able to socialise much, and I'm not the best at calling or texting, but I will strive to be better in 2021.

I'm thankful to my partner, I know I'm not the easiest person to deal with for the most part.

I know I can be cranky and difficult at times and I spend a lot of my spare time writing, so you don't always get the attention you deserve but thank you for putting up with me and always being there for me. You have been so supportive of me and my writing, and I aim to be a better partner to you, and I look forward to what 2021 brings us.

I'm also thankful to the Warriors and all of you for your support with my writing in 2020.

To be honest, at the start of the 2020 season, I was not confident in how the Warriors would perform, and I struggled to get back into writing. However, the 2020 season was one of the most interesting seasons I have ever seen, and I really started to enjoy my writing again when the season restarted in May. It sucked not being able to go to live matches for the entire season and who knows when we will be back at Mount Smart again but that first game back in New Zealand will be amazing.

Thanks to all of you on here I finished 2020's season with 7419 views and 1294 followers on the Facebook page, I hope to continue to grow my site in 2021 and continue to offer you my take on all that is the Warriors in the 2021 season. 

I would not be able to continue my dream of writing without the support from the Warriors community.

Thank you to Charlie and the NZ Warriors Diehards page, the View from the East Stand crew, the Faither gang, Roo and Hammer, This Warriors Life, Fonzie and all then other Warriors Facebook pages that allow me to share my articles on your pages or appear on your podcast's (fingers crossed for some more collaborations in 2021).

This community is fantastic, and I appreciate all the feedback I have gotten this year, it has truly helped me grow and develop my skills as a writer. I know I still have a long way to go, but I know I will get there with your continued support.

We didn't get many chances to meet in person in 2020, but I'm hopeful I will get more chances to meet some of you in person this year.

Thanks also to Matt, Andrew and all the writers at Nothingbutleague.com  I have loved writing for that site and I look forward to contributing to the site again in 2021.

Lastly, I am thankful for the opportunity to start the show The Stand-Off on New Zealand Sports Radio. 

Thank you to Paul for giving me the chance to be a host, and I hope I can help grow the show and continue to learn from you. Thanks also to my co-host Sanjay for joining me on this journey, it has been a great ride, and I look forward to you returning to the show.

It has been a challenge to do a weekly live show discussing Rugby League as I am not used on camera, but I have really enjoyed what we have created so far, and I can't wait for season two to kick off.

Overall 2020 had its fair share of downs for me, but that has just made me appreciate the up's so much more.

I'm excited for 2021 and whatever it brings me, continuing to develop my writing and writing opportunities will be at the forefront of my 2020 goals. The Warriors 2021 season will be a top priority once again with my game review writeups being released the Monday after each Warriors performance.

I will start my season writings shortly with my five players to Stand Out, and five players in improve in the 2021 season so look out for those in the next few weeks as well as my Warriors season preview for my site as well as the preview I write for Nothing but League.

Thank you again, everyone, for all your support in 2020 and good luck to all of you for 2021. I hope it brings you all you dream for an more.

My Thank You List for 2018

Well, 2018 has finally come to an end which means it's now time for my thank you list for 2018.
So much happened in 2018 and it was a mixed bag for me, some good, some bad, some tragic and a lot of lessons learned.
We (or more specifically I) tend to focus on the unfortunate events that cause bumps in our journey, so this list is going to steer away from that and focus on all the things I am grateful for instead of focusing on the negatives that plagued 2018 worldwide.

So onto 2018

First off I'm thankful for my new home.
After the panic of having to find a new place to live when the house I lived in was put up for sale, we were lucky to find a great place still in the same area very quickly.
It is a much more beautiful place to call home and was a real find that I will be forever grateful for finding.

Next, I am thankful for my flatmate and one of my closest friends.
If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have been able to afford to move into our new place, and there were more times than I would like to admit that he fed me when my fridge was bare and I didn't have a penny to my name.
I can honestly say I don't know where I would currently be without your help and friendship and for that I thank you for everything, I truly appreciate all you have done for me.

I'm also thankful to my friends and family for all the love, support and guidance you have shown me in 2018.
There were times in 2018 where I lost faith in myself, but you guys never did, and your support helped me take the plunge and enrol in my sports journalism course which could (fingers crossed) be the life-changing decision I have been dreaming of.

A special mention needs to go to my Mum and Dad.
Mum, you have been my rock in 2017, with so much happening to the whole family you were still always there to be the ear I needed in the dark times, and you gave me much needed clarity when my own mind was clouded.
Dad, thank you so much for all your help, it felt like 2018 was the year of car troubles for me and you were always ready, willing and able to drop everything and save my ass.
I'm sorry if you ever felt like I was taking you for granted and I hope I will be able to repay your generosity one day soon.

And lastly, I am grateful to the Warriors and all of you for your support with my writing in 2018.
When 2017's NRL season wrapped up, I was blown away by how many people had read my reviews after hitting 12,926 views for the season, and I aimed to get those views up to 15,000 for the 2018 season.
 Thanks to all of you on here I finished 2018's season with 81,437 views and my facebook page grew from 218 to 657 likes which just blows my mind.

I would have not got anywhere near that without the support from the Warriors community.
Thank you to Charlie, and the NZ Warriors Diehards, the View from the East Stand crew, the Faithers gang and all the other Warriors facebook pages that allowed me to promote my articles on your pages or appear in your Podcast's (Fingers crossed 2019 brings more of these opportunities for me).
This community is fantastic and I appreciate all the feedback I have gotten this year, it has truly helped me grow and develop my writing skills, and I know I still have a long way to go, but I know I will get there with your continued support.
I'm thankful for all the Warriors fans I have got to meet due to my writing, and I'm hopeful that I get to meet more of you this year.

Overall 2018 had its fair share of downs for me, but that has just made me appreciate the up's a whole lot more.
I'm excited for 2019 and whatever it brings me.
My studies will be on the forefront of my 2019 goals but the Warriors 2019 season will still be a top priority with my reviews still to be released the Monday after each Warriors performance.
I'm also excited for the opportunity to be writing for Nothing but League this year, I will be writing their Warriors previews and reviews this coming season, and I cannot wait (if you haven't already you should go check them out on www.nothingbutleague.com ).

Thank you again, everyone, for your support in 2018 and good luck to all of you for 2019, I hope it brings you all you dream for and more.
I will talk to you again in only a few weeks when my 2019 Warriors season preview is complete.

The Journey to 110: Slow Start in Week One

Not a bad Dinner 

 First of all, I want to thank you for all the encouragement and tips that were sent my way.

I really had no idea where to start with this beginning, so all the information that has been giving to me has been beneficial.

The first week of my new journey did not work out entirely as I had envisioned.

I improved what I was eating, gone was the crap and sugar (man sugar is in everything) and in its place was a lot of spinach (Popeye would be jealous), salmon, poached eggs and fruit.

I don't miss the unhealthy options in these early stages, I just need to ensure that I don't let being busy at work hinder the new food plan.

If anyone has any tips or ideas for on the go breakfast meals for work mornings, please let me know (right now I am alternating between oats and scrambled eggs).

Unfortunately, the most prominent problem in my first week has been a lack of exercise.

Exercise hasn't happened, cant make an excuse, the first week back at work and hot weather brought the laziness back in full force.

I had plans to venture up the Pinnacles in the Coromandel in the weekend, but with the recent storm, the tracks had been closed, so I wasn't able to make the trip.

I know for this to work I need to get active and get into a routine, I'm going to start slowly, even just a brisk walk every day.

Do you have any other good ideas for exercise for people just starting?

What else is great to go along with walking?

I will be entering all the funrun’s I can again this year, the first one I have found is a 10km in Highbrook in February so that will be the first of hopefully many in 2018.

I am also aiming to get some hikes under my belt on the weekends, taking advantage of the all the bush tracks we have around Auckland.

The key is just getting off my ass and doing the work, by writing about my week on here I know I cant repeat the lack of effort I made this week.

So at the end of my first week, I am disappointed in myself, I only lost a kilo, but a kilo down is still a kilo closer to my goal.

Week two is going to be better, so until then hope you all have a great week and I will talk to you soon.

Current Weight: 128Kg’s

Goal Weight: 110Kg’s

Kg’s to go: 18Kg’s

The Journey to 110

Photo by Nadine Shaabana on Unsplash

In September I decided I needed to make a change.
I was unhappy, miserable and angry, you see I had gone back to my lazy ways and started making poor choices, and as a result, I once again started to gain weight.
So I started exercising again and stopped eating crap, and the weight started to come off.
I had planned to write about it as a way to keep myself in check but before I started to write my old friend laziness came back, and I offered no resistance.
He also brought a friend in the form of some of the weight I lost.

I was frustrated and angry with myself, so many people have helped me over the years with my weight and I had done so well for so long only to let myself down.
I took a long hard look in the mirror and decided that I would no longer give in to laziness and make excuses.
So this time I decided to write at the very start of my resurrected journey instead of waiting until I achieved some results.
I jumped on the scales and weighed 129kgs, 19kgs away from my goal of 110kgs.
I also took these pictures.

It's a big step for me as I seldom show anyone (Girlfriends included) myself topless, but I feel that if I am to be accountable on this journey I need to track my progress not only by the scales but with images that I will take once a month.

Now I do not claim to have any knowledge of weight loss or the right or wrong way to losing weight so I will not be trying to tell people how to do so.
Although if I mention something that I am doing that is wrong or not helping me, in the long run, please let me know.
I just am going to try things and see what works for me.

I returned to doing fun runs this year and will continue these in 2018.
This in combination with regular exercise and eating right should return me to a weight I am happy with.
To keep me on track and responsible for my own actions I will be writing on here once a week every week updating my activities, talking about the ups and downs I face and the progress made towards my goal.
For this to work for me I need to be honest when I write here, if I don't lose weight, slack off or anything of that nature I will be putting it in here, warts and all so to speak.

As a by-product, if this help's anyone else out there find the motivation to become healthier, well that would be amazing.
That's all I have for my first post on my new journey, if you have any words of wisdom or helpful tips, please let me know.

Current Weight: 129Kgs
Goal Weight: 110Kgs
Kgs to go: 19Kgs

My Thank You List for 2016

Holy shit 2016 was quite a year!
So much happened in 2016, some good, some bad and some tragic.
Deaths, Natural disasters and a presidential election that engulfed the world took significant focus throughout the year and made so many people wish the year would just end.

Well, 2016 has finally come to an end which means it is now time for my thank you list for 2016, and just like the last two years, I am going to focus on all the things I am grateful for instead of focusing on the negatives that plagued 2016 worldwide.

So onto 2016

First off I'm thankful for my home, I love living in Pokeno and living with my friends.
I'm grateful that I get to go home and spend time with my friend's son almost every night and watch him grow and develop (as well as recruit him into being a Warriors fan nice and early).
I enjoy living far enough away from Auckland city to enjoy the peace and quiet supplied by the countryside but close enough where I can travel to Auckland with relative ease.

My desk on my Birthday

I'm thankful for my job, I've had a few changes in my role which have kept my interest up and made working more enjoyable.
After working 9 1/2 years in a job that made me miserable for a boss I hated (and I'm sure hated me just as much), I love being able to wake up and not hate having to go to work.
I'm grateful to work in a team that helps each other and to have a boss that supports me not only on work-related issues but also issues I have going on in my personal life.

Thank you to my friends and family for all the love and support given to me in 2016.

Family

I can honestly say 2016 was a hard year for me, and there were many months where I was in a bad place, but no matter what happened there was always someone willing to help me or even just listen to me.
I am genuinely thankful for that and hope that you can always rely on me in the same way.

Movieworld 2016

I'm grateful for my Gold Coast trip.
Thank you to my 2nd family for inviting me to join you for a week on the Gold Coast.
I didn't tell many people but I got back with my ex (the one mentioned in my blog "The One") a few weeks before we flew out and she made the decision to end it via text on the first night of my holiday.
Due to no one knowing we were back together I couldn't really say anything to anyone so instead of getting upset I focused on just enjoying being on holiday, and I truly loved the whole trip.

Thank you for peer pressuring me to do rides that I was terrified of doing (I'm sure you all have funny stories about me freaking out on rides to tell everyone now).
Thank you for not making fun of me for becoming an overexcited child when I saw an actor dressed up as Batman fighting of Joker goons.
Overall just thank you for the best week of my 2016.

And lastly, I am grateful to find my passion for writing again.
One of my goals for 2016 was to try and write on here more, and I did, I went from writing one or two pieces a year to writing at least one article a week for the entire Warriors season.
Thank you to Gareth, Charlie and the Faithers crew as well as NZWarriors.com for not only reading my work but for inviting me to write with you and for helping get my work seen.
My season review was my most viewed piece by a landslide, and it was all down to being able to promote it on your pages, and I'm hoping to be able to promote my work more effectively with all of you to step my writing up this year.

Overall 2016 had its fair share of downs for me, but it has just made me appreciate the ups a hell of a lot more.
2017 so far has been amazing for me, and I cannot wait to see what is coming my way.
I want to be more consistent with my writing on here and will be looking at trying to branch out to new subjects to see what works and more importantly what all of you enjoy,
I'm also in the process of revamping the blog with a new name, look and so on, so watch this space.

Good luck to all of you in 2017, I hope it brings you all you desire and more and I
will talk to you again in a few weeks when my 2017 Warriors season preview is complete.

Where have i been and Plans for the future

The 17th of September was the last time I posted on here, it really feels like a lifetime ago but I have just been struggling to put pen to pad recently.
I have stopped and started my 2016 Warriors season review multiple times as well as my piece on the Kieran Foran signing, but not to worry as I hope to have both of these completed and uploaded very soon.

Why is it taking me so long you may ask?
Well, life sometimes just gets in the way of our plans and screws with our routines, and like right now just feels like it has been going downhill.
Some members of my family have been/are going through difficult times and the fact that I haven't been able to fix or even help them has knocked me for six.

So when I've tried to sit down and write, my head has just been flooded with everything else that is going on, and I haven't been able to focus on what I'm trying to write,
Which to be honest frustrates the hell out of me because when shit like this goes down, my writing is my escape, my way of destressing and I really need to get back into a routine.

Now, this isn't a woe is me story as I am thankful for what I have in my life and I know there is a lot of terrible things happening to nicer, better people than myself.
I also know that as long as I do my best to love and support my family, we will get through all the struggles and come out the other side stronger.
I wanted to put all of this out there so I can hold myself accountable for keeping a routine in place and not flaking out and giving up.

So I am in the process of taking back control, not only of my writing but my life in general.
I aim to be writing on here at least once a week, now that is going to be a lot easier during the NRL season, but I want to branch out into different topics since we have a few months until the season officially starts.

As to what I will be writing about, well I'm not too sure yet.
Maybe I can start writing about my thoughts on current events, other sports, and teams that I follow and just about what's going on in my life.
If any of you have thoughts or ideas, let me know as I'm open to suggestions.
I also aim to get back into my exercise and eating right, I find that I write better after a workout so I am going to ensure that I get out to the gym or for walks as often as I can.

So with my plan in place, you will be hearing from me more often, and in my first step, I got a new picture of me for the blog as you can see at the top of my blog.
I love it, and if you ever want something like that for yourself, you should check out the artist Ross Payne his website is www.animatics.co.nz

It's great to finally be writing again, and I will talk to you again shortly.

My Thank You List For 2015

Wow 2015 has flown by just like that.

It feels like I was sitting down a few days ago writing my thank you list for 2014, now I know it is already 2016 now and I was planning on having this up before 2015 ended but I was too busy enjoying my holiday break with friends and family to get it up earlier.

I turned 30 in March of 2015 and it meant so much to me because four years ago I was told by my Doctor that I would not reach 30 due to my excessive weight (I was 192Kgs or 423Lbs at that time) but with help and support I got to a healthier weight and saved my life.

I cannot even begin to thank my family and friends enough for all the help and support they gave me through that phase and I can honestly say I would not be here today if not for them.

But onto 2015

I’m thankful  for the new role I took on at my work, I have really enjoyed the change and think it is helping me progress my skills and it is amazing to have a job that I look forward to going to and not having to bitch, complain and vent about it when I get home.

Thank you to my boss and the ladies in the team for making me feel so welcome and also for letting me be the person I am.

I’m thankful that my friends brought two children into the world this year and both are healthy and amazing little kids.

I’m thankful for the new house I moved into this year, I really love the peace and quiet we have in our little neighbourhood and living here has made me so much happier.

I want to thank my family for all the love and support you have given me through the good and bad of 2015, we have gone through a lot and it has made us all stronger people and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.

I’m also thankful to have had my great grandmother for so long and as sad as it is that she passed away this year, she made it to 102 years old and passed away peacefully in her sleep, you have taught me so much and you will always mean the world to me.

I want to thank my friends also, I know I’m not the best at staying in regular contact but you all are so important to me and I hope to always be here to support you just like you all do for me.

All of my friends and family inspire me every day and I want to make all of you proud.

I don’t think I’ve found my calling yet but I know with the love you all give me I will find it.

Thank you to my ex for the great memories we shared this year, thank you for showing me love in times when I didn’t believe I could be loved.

You taught me a lot about myself and you were my first love and I know part of me will always love and care for you.

I truly hope 2016 gives you all you wish and more.

And finally thank you to all of you that read my blog.

I can admit that I still have no idea what this blog is actually meant to be for me.

In 2016 I aim to have a lot more activity on here, When the Warriors season starts I will have a review each week of the game played each round and I will also try to some personal/uplifting blogs uploaded regularly too and I may even get into writing poetry again.

If there is any thoughts, ideas or suggestions you have for what you think should be up here just comment and let me know.

2015 we are all done and dusted, I thank you for all the good times and I thank you for all the hard patches that have made me stronger.

2016 is here and it is going to be amazing, I have my trip overseas in February, the Warriors start playing in March so let’s bring it on!!!!

A Perception of Perfection

I recently read about a study that was published in an issue of the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry by the University of Montreal that suggests that compulsive behaviours like biting your nails, eye lash pulling and other repetitive body focused behaviours can point towards perfectionism as an underlying cause.

In this study, these people were generally impatient, got bored or frustrated easily.

This sparked my interest because I nail bite and pull my eyelashes, and I'm also very impatient and frustrated very easily.

I can't sit still for very long, and if I have nothing I can do to keep my mind busy, I tap my foot almost uncontrollably.

I have spent years struggling with my attempts to attain my perception of perfection.
Like most (If not all) people in the world, I do not like losing, be it in sport or life in general.
I know I go too far in the wrong way when it comes to this, however (I have friends that could tell the story of when we were playing golf on my PlayStation, and I had a hole where I kept going into the water and it frustrated me to the point where I broke my standing fan much to their delight as they thought it was pretty amusing).

I have been working on my issues with this, and I feel like I'm getting better; I still fidget and lose my mind when I'm stuck in situations I don't like.

I think, in some form, we are all perfectionists, and I don't believe it is that bad of a thing; we just need to understand that perfection is an unattainable goal, but if we can aim to be better than we were yesterday, the world would be a better place.

I stopped writing my novel and on here because everything I wrote wasn't perfect, and I decided to just give up.

Giving up is the worst thing any of us can do; giving up on anything (Writing, sport, relationships, etc.) is the easy way out of any situation, and we can learn a lot more from trying to get through and make the best of every situation we find ourselves in.

One of my goals going into 2016 is to actually complete my novel (And write more on here) because I cannot become a better writer and person if I just give up before I finish.

My last message doesn't let your version of perfection get in the way of being a good productive member of society.

Aim to be a better version of yourself today than the person you were yesterday, and do not give up on the things in your life, be it your job, hobbies, or people in your life; most importantly, never give up on yourself.

My Constant Struggle

I started toying with an idea a few years ago and started attempting to write a book.
After jumping in and getting around 3000 words in I hit a wall and I just stopped writing.
Days of not writing became weeks which grew into months and then before I knew it I had reached just over a year without touching my idea.
I don't know why I stopped, I guess you can say I was lazy and at the first hurdle I just walked away from it.
The idea was still in my head I just couldn't bring myself to put my idea into words anymore.
If I can be honest I think a large part of it was a lack of confidence in actually being able to write a story that could be a book, I mean I'm just an average guy, not some author so why try?
So I gave up without thinking twice, and it wasn't until a friend showed me that if you put your mind to it, you can beat that self-doubt and achieve your dreams.
My friend had also started working a book (Actually a series of books), and even though he hit similar walls like mine, he just kept at it.
I spent over a year getting bits and pieces of his stories and discussing his story with him over and over and i got to watch his idea become a book.
When i was sitting there holding a book with my friends name published on the front i had a thought "Hey this was just his idea at the start and look at it now, i should do that with my idea too".
Now I'm not trying to say that my attempt at writing a book will be as good as his (I love his book and think it is amazing and personally recommend it as a must buy for everyone.
I will share a link below to the website you can look at it on and buy) but he is just regular guy like me, and I should get back to my idea.

So with a new sense of purpose I grabbed my story and read it over and decided to tweak things in it, so I basically started over.
I think it is better now than how it was originally (There is a sample of it in my blog "To write or not to write").
But my confidence left me again, and as I was sitting there on my laptop, I found myself ignoring my story and falling down the rabbit hole that is you-tube.
I let my brain turn off and wasn't really paying attention until I found a Kevin Smith Q&A.
I have always found his Q&A's interesting and there was a something that he said in response to the question "How do you find the time to do all the amazing things you do and still be a normal father, husband, etc.
His answer stuck with me and hopefully will help me get my book back on track.
He told the audience a story about his dad passing away and his realisation that the only guarantee in life is that we all are going to die and we really have no idea when it will happen, so we need to fill our lives with as much as possible.
He then went on to explain that the world we live in now is very cynical and full of why people (People who question your life choices like "Why are you trying to write a book?").
The key to succeeding in this world is to ignore the whys and instead ask why not and take a shot because the shot is always worth taking.
Listening to his story i realized that the biggest why person in my life was me, i was preventing myself from taking the shot and i decided that i am no longer going to question myself and I'm going to finish my story, maybe it wont become a book like my friends story did but i will never have that chance to find out if i don't try so watch this space as i take my shot and hopefully the words of wisdom that i took from Kevin Smith and tried to spread with my words here reach some people and help them take there shot.

If you think this message applies to you or people you know share my story around and help others achieve their dreams an also, please click on the link below to check out my friend's book.

http://www.amazon.com/Revelations-Twenty-one-Blades-Volume-1/dp/0473281937

Riding the Waves to a better future

Well it has been 6 months since I have put anything up on here and I have vowed to myself that I will actually start to be more consistent with my blog, I am going to get some help in regards to that so hopefully there will be more up soon so just watch this space.

I think the main roadblock I have been facing is that I’m not sure what I want this to be for (Humor, my thoughts, my life, etc.).
Once I figure out what I want to say to all of you then I should hit the ground running, I know I can ramble on in these too but hopefully, with the assistance I get in the near future I will be able to refine my writing style.

But for now I thought I would just write down a little something that I was discussing with a close friend recently, and hopefully, it reaches someone and makes a difference for them.

This time last year it felt like my life was falling apart, my girlfriend left, I was unhappy at my job, my family was having struggles, I always felt broke, and I couldn’t see anything getting better anytime soon.

Now a fault that I personally have is that when everything goes to shit for me I hold it in and I don’t really tell many people what is going on.
Thankfully the people I had talked to about everything was going on were very supportive and were always there for me to talk to or vent to when I needed it and I would not be where I am right now if I didn't have that love and support from my friends and family.

The past 6 months I have worked on being more open with people about anything I am going through.
Not to get sympathy or to make excuses for myself just to let more of my friends and family into how I feel and it has made me feel a lot better, it is very emotionally taxing to hold in all your problems and stresses are try to deal with them on your own.

The point I want to make, and the reason I am writing this is that I was talking to a friend not that long ago who is going through some rocky times and didn't know what to do, I told them what I did and as cliche as it may sound it actually worked for me.

I advised that no matter how bad things seem you need to keep positive and be thankful for the things you have and stop focusing on what is going wrong because if you do that, you miss what is going right.

They brushed it off, but I explained what I had gone through and what I did to change my mindset.
For example, my girlfriend left me but instead of being constantly down and gloomy I started to look it from another angle in that she wasn’t right for me and I wasn’t actually that happy when we were together and I would find the right girl for me.
Fast forward to now, and I have found the most amazing girl I have ever met and have never been happier (More on this amazing woman in a future blog).

I was unhappy in my job and always felt like I had no money, but I switched that to being happy because I had a job and had enough money to pay the bills and feed myself which is a lot more than other people have.

By just tweaking your mindset and thinking with a glass half full approach reduces the stress you put on yourself and the happier you are with yourself, the more things work out in your favour.
The key is just to be positive and ride the waves through any storms you face, and you will come out better on the other side.

I was struggling with just trying to think more positive, so I actually started to write down things and people I was thankful for (My blog on Christmas day was a significant step forward for my mindset where I wrote a thank you list for 2014 -  have a read if you haven’t seen it already).

If I can reach one person on here that is going through bad times and help them change their mindset than I will be happy, hopefully, this helps more than that, but one person is a good start.

The world is an amazing place with unlimited opportunities you just have to open yourself up to see it.

Until next time

Brad

To write or not to write

Hi all

I haven't updated the blog in a little while, but I have actually started trying to write my attempt of a book after 2-3 years of avoiding putting pen to pad (Or more accurately fingers to keyboard).
I have started afresh with a slightly different concept, and hopefully this time I will actually get to complete it.

But I thought I would put a section up on here and get feedback, so have a read of the below and let me know what you think and if I should continue with my story or not.

Appreciate any feedback.

The cold air hit Steve as he stared out at the Valhedge skyline from his balcony, the city was a hive of activity, and it was rubbing off on him as he hadn't slept for days.

He pushed himself away from the railing and made his way back inside towards the bathroom.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror sickened him, he was six foot two, and his muscular frame was beginning to look worse for wear.

His once jet black hair was now speckled with grey and he wore the face of a fifty-year-old when he was in fact on thirty-eight, his life as a Detective in Valhedge had aged him dramatically.

He recalled a time he had once decided to retire from this job and rushed home to let his wife Michelle know the goods news only to find her in bed with their marriage counsellor Jason Thorne.

The irony of that situation now makes him laugh but back then it was the night everything fell apart for him, and the ongoing divorce settlement was killing him slowly every day.
The legal system had always repulsed him, and he was appalled that he was being made to look like the bad guy in this divorce even though Michelle had been the one cheating.

He stared down at his gun and wondered how many times he had actually thought about ending his pain right there in that bathroom.

The job that he hated so much was now the only thing in his life that had not let him down, and because of this, he threw himself completely into the job in a way that concerned his colleagues and even disturbed himself.

His cell phone sprung to life and brought Steve back to earth, at this time of night it could only be work related, so he resisted the urge of ignoring it and picked it up.

“Detective Taylor Speaking”

“Steve word is we have a body down by the Honeypot” replied the unmistakable voice of his partner.

“Alexis what a pleasant surprise” he replied, in the dark world he inhabited the only shining light was Alexis, her upbeat attitude never faulted despite the terrible things she had seen so far in her career.

“I’m on my way there now Steve, meet me there, word from the station is that this one is a bit of a mess.”

“What do you mean by mess?” he asked,
“Well the victim is some kind of socialite and whoever killed her left a note with the body and …..” Alexis' voice trailed off as if she did not want to finish the sentence.

“Ok I will be there as soon as I can, see you soon” Steve answered realising that Alexis was uncharacteristically unsettled and it would be better to finish the conversation at the crime scene.

Steve quickly rushed to get dressed and made his way down to the Honeypot.

My Thank You List for 2014

Well, I have not really put a lot of effort into this blog bar putting up some of the poems I have written up so I decided with 2015 knocking on the door I would try and put a little more up on here.

So with my first attempt, I thought I would just thank the people that have been involved in my life this year.

The first group I want to thank is my family, collectively we have had a lot of tough times this year, but together we have got through everything as it hit us and we are all still here.

This year has shown me that through thick and thin your family will always to be there to love and support you regardless of the situations you find yourself (Or in some cases get yourself) in.
I can honestly admit that while I know that I am always willing to help and be there for my family, I never appreciated how powerful and meaningful it is to have the support of the people we call family.

I want to thank everyone in my family for everything you have done for me, I am truly grateful for all of you and can honestly tell you that I would not be the person I am today without your support.

The second group to thank is my friends.

Thank you to all my friends both old and new, I have met some great people in my life that have supported me with all the stuff I have gone through this year it really means a lot to me to have all of you here with me on my journey.

I am quite a shy person, to begin with, and keep a lot to myself as a way to protect me and thank you to everyone who has stuck around with me until I get comfortable enough to be who I honestly am.
 On that note thank you to all of you who stuck with me after finding out what an oddball I actually am.

They say that you can tell who a person actually is by the people they surround themselves with and I think that I could not have a better group of people to call my friends.

I am so grateful for all of you and cannot begin to explain the impact you have all had on my life, and I will always aim to be the best possible friend I can be to all of you.

The last person I want to thank is my ex.

I wish things between us now were different and I could still call you my best friend but hopefully in time maybe one day we can be friends again.

I want to thank you for all the times we had together, I truly loved all the memories we made both big and small.

I’m not sure if you know, but I have never opened up to anyone like I opened up to you, I showed you the real me both good and bad.

I wish I could go back and change some of the things I did as I know I wasn't always the best person to you.
I had/have a habit of wanting or needing to be right all the time, and if I can take anything away from what I have learnt this year, it is that I am not always right.
I can’t force my point of view onto others as it is only my opinion and everyone else has the right to convey their own views on life.

I want you to know part of me will always love and care for you, and I am so happy and proud to say that I had you in my life.

You are a fantastic person that is so full of life, and I hope that all your wishes and goals in life come true.

I know the odds of you ever seeing or reading this is slim to none but I would like you to know that I truly appreciate everything we had and everything that you did for me and everything I have learnt from you.

This is all I have for this post, and I hope that if anyone actually reads this that they stop and take stock of the journey they call their life and thank the people that help us on the paths we walk.