My Thank You List For 2015

Wow 2015 has flown by just like that.

It feels like I was sitting down a few days ago writing my thank you list for 2014, now I know it is already 2016 now and I was planning on having this up before 2015 ended but I was too busy enjoying my holiday break with friends and family to get it up earlier.

I turned 30 in March of 2015 and it meant so much to me because four years ago I was told by my Doctor that I would not reach 30 due to my excessive weight (I was 192Kgs or 423Lbs at that time) but with help and support I got to a healthier weight and saved my life.

I cannot even begin to thank my family and friends enough for all the help and support they gave me through that phase and I can honestly say I would not be here today if not for them.

But onto 2015

I’m thankful  for the new role I took on at my work, I have really enjoyed the change and think it is helping me progress my skills and it is amazing to have a job that I look forward to going to and not having to bitch, complain and vent about it when I get home.

Thank you to my boss and the ladies in the team for making me feel so welcome and also for letting me be the person I am.

I’m thankful that my friends brought two children into the world this year and both are healthy and amazing little kids.

I’m thankful for the new house I moved into this year, I really love the peace and quiet we have in our little neighbourhood and living here has made me so much happier.

I want to thank my family for all the love and support you have given me through the good and bad of 2015, we have gone through a lot and it has made us all stronger people and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.

I’m also thankful to have had my great grandmother for so long and as sad as it is that she passed away this year, she made it to 102 years old and passed away peacefully in her sleep, you have taught me so much and you will always mean the world to me.

I want to thank my friends also, I know I’m not the best at staying in regular contact but you all are so important to me and I hope to always be here to support you just like you all do for me.

All of my friends and family inspire me every day and I want to make all of you proud.

I don’t think I’ve found my calling yet but I know with the love you all give me I will find it.

Thank you to my ex for the great memories we shared this year, thank you for showing me love in times when I didn’t believe I could be loved.

You taught me a lot about myself and you were my first love and I know part of me will always love and care for you.

I truly hope 2016 gives you all you wish and more.

And finally thank you to all of you that read my blog.

I can admit that I still have no idea what this blog is actually meant to be for me.

In 2016 I aim to have a lot more activity on here, When the Warriors season starts I will have a review each week of the game played each round and I will also try to some personal/uplifting blogs uploaded regularly too and I may even get into writing poetry again.

If there is any thoughts, ideas or suggestions you have for what you think should be up here just comment and let me know.

2015 we are all done and dusted, I thank you for all the good times and I thank you for all the hard patches that have made me stronger.

2016 is here and it is going to be amazing, I have my trip overseas in February, the Warriors start playing in March so let’s bring it on!!!!

A Perception of Perfection

I recently read about a study that was published in an issue of the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry by the University of Montreal that suggests that compulsive behaviours like biting your nails, eye lash pulling and other repetitive body focused behaviours can point towards perfectionism as an underlying cause.

In this study, these people were generally impatient, got bored or frustrated easily.

This sparked my interest because I nail bite and pull my eyelashes, and I'm also very impatient and frustrated very easily.

I can't sit still for very long, and if I have nothing I can do to keep my mind busy, I tap my foot almost uncontrollably.

I have spent years struggling with my attempts to attain my perception of perfection.
Like most (If not all) people in the world, I do not like losing, be it in sport or life in general.
I know I go too far in the wrong way when it comes to this, however (I have friends that could tell the story of when we were playing golf on my PlayStation, and I had a hole where I kept going into the water and it frustrated me to the point where I broke my standing fan much to their delight as they thought it was pretty amusing).

I have been working on my issues with this, and I feel like I'm getting better; I still fidget and lose my mind when I'm stuck in situations I don't like.

I think, in some form, we are all perfectionists, and I don't believe it is that bad of a thing; we just need to understand that perfection is an unattainable goal, but if we can aim to be better than we were yesterday, the world would be a better place.

I stopped writing my novel and on here because everything I wrote wasn't perfect, and I decided to just give up.

Giving up is the worst thing any of us can do; giving up on anything (Writing, sport, relationships, etc.) is the easy way out of any situation, and we can learn a lot more from trying to get through and make the best of every situation we find ourselves in.

One of my goals going into 2016 is to actually complete my novel (And write more on here) because I cannot become a better writer and person if I just give up before I finish.

My last message doesn't let your version of perfection get in the way of being a good productive member of society.

Aim to be a better version of yourself today than the person you were yesterday, and do not give up on the things in your life, be it your job, hobbies, or people in your life; most importantly, never give up on yourself.

Jonah 1975 – 2015

To be honest I never thought I would be writing about this (At least not for a long time).

We as a nation have lost the third All Black prematurely this year with Jonah Lomu joining Jerry Collins and Norm Berryman on this unfortunate list.

Before I start I just want to say that my love goes out to all of the friends and family of these men that were taken too soon.

Jonah’s passing hit me harder than I thought it would, when I heard the news I did not believe it nor did I want to believe it to be true.

In the past few weeks we have all heard the stories of the man he was off the field and also the highlights and statistics he had on the field.

I listen to radio sport every day on my way to and from work and as you would expect Jonah’s news took over the radio, people were calling and talking about their memories about the man and one thing I heard a lot as that so many of these people that he had impacted never got the chance to watch him play live.

It wasn’t until I heard this that I realised how lucky I was to be able to watch Jonah play live for Counties, Auckland Blues, Waikato Chiefs, Wellington Hurricanes, Wellington Lions and of course the All Blacks.

I still remember it as if it was yesterday sitting on the grass with my Dad at Pukekohe watching my favourite Rugby player playing for my local team.

In those days we had a few school visits from Jonah and I remember how he made me feel like we were mates and that I wasn’t just some little kid that he needed to get rid of so he could leave, he truly made it seem that he has all the time in the world for you.

If it wasn’t for Jonah, dare I say I may not have fallen in love with sport like I have, he was a kid from South Auckland like me and he had become this superstar.

I had someone to look up too and hope to emulate (Except for the fact that my sporting talent was always seriously lacking).

I fast forward past all those years to my early twenties and Jonah had recently had a Kidney transplant and was on the path of trying to make a comeback to rugby.

Through a family friendship with his wife at the time I use to get updates on how he was going and I was hoping like hell that he would get a chance to wear his black jersey again, at this point in time I was quite large and he would give me boxes of his old clothes just because he had so much already and I needed some clothes to fit me properly.

I never got the proper opportunity  thank him for that until I got him to sign a copy of his book for me at the mall and he actually remembered my name, that single thing put me on cloud nine for the longest time.

In this country, I don’t think we ever truly realised the man we had until he was gone, the rest of the world loved him so much and you could just see that by the reaction he got wherever he went.

We may have won the last two World Cups but the moments from each of those cups that made me proud were seeing him centre field at the opening ceremony at Eden Park and then a few months ago when he lead a Haka n England.

Jonah you are an inspiration o me and if I am a quarter of the man you are when I am laid to rest I will be happy.

It saddens me that you never got to get to your boys 21^st like you had hoped but they will always feel your love from above.

You have shown me how we really cannot take things for granted, we do not know when our last day will be so we need to do our best every day to make the most of it and cherish and love the people not only in our lives but people in general.

I vow to never take the things I have for granted in my life again and this is a promise I make to my one true sporting hero.

You changed rugby and you touched so many people’s lives and I am so thankful to have been able to say that I got to watch the Great Jonah play.

The world has truly lost a humble giant and there will never be another like you.

Rest in peace Jonah, thank you for everything.