My Constant Struggle

I started toying with an idea a few years ago and started attempting to write a book.
After jumping in and getting around 3000 words in I hit a wall and I just stopped writing.
Days of not writing became weeks which grew into months and then before I knew it I had reached just over a year without touching my idea.
I don't know why I stopped, I guess you can say I was lazy and at the first hurdle I just walked away from it.
The idea was still in my head I just couldn't bring myself to put my idea into words anymore.
If I can be honest I think a large part of it was a lack of confidence in actually being able to write a story that could be a book, I mean I'm just an average guy, not some author so why try?
So I gave up without thinking twice, and it wasn't until a friend showed me that if you put your mind to it, you can beat that self-doubt and achieve your dreams.
My friend had also started working a book (Actually a series of books), and even though he hit similar walls like mine, he just kept at it.
I spent over a year getting bits and pieces of his stories and discussing his story with him over and over and i got to watch his idea become a book.
When i was sitting there holding a book with my friends name published on the front i had a thought "Hey this was just his idea at the start and look at it now, i should do that with my idea too".
Now I'm not trying to say that my attempt at writing a book will be as good as his (I love his book and think it is amazing and personally recommend it as a must buy for everyone.
I will share a link below to the website you can look at it on and buy) but he is just regular guy like me, and I should get back to my idea.

So with a new sense of purpose I grabbed my story and read it over and decided to tweak things in it, so I basically started over.
I think it is better now than how it was originally (There is a sample of it in my blog "To write or not to write").
But my confidence left me again, and as I was sitting there on my laptop, I found myself ignoring my story and falling down the rabbit hole that is you-tube.
I let my brain turn off and wasn't really paying attention until I found a Kevin Smith Q&A.
I have always found his Q&A's interesting and there was a something that he said in response to the question "How do you find the time to do all the amazing things you do and still be a normal father, husband, etc.
His answer stuck with me and hopefully will help me get my book back on track.
He told the audience a story about his dad passing away and his realisation that the only guarantee in life is that we all are going to die and we really have no idea when it will happen, so we need to fill our lives with as much as possible.
He then went on to explain that the world we live in now is very cynical and full of why people (People who question your life choices like "Why are you trying to write a book?").
The key to succeeding in this world is to ignore the whys and instead ask why not and take a shot because the shot is always worth taking.
Listening to his story i realized that the biggest why person in my life was me, i was preventing myself from taking the shot and i decided that i am no longer going to question myself and I'm going to finish my story, maybe it wont become a book like my friends story did but i will never have that chance to find out if i don't try so watch this space as i take my shot and hopefully the words of wisdom that i took from Kevin Smith and tried to spread with my words here reach some people and help them take there shot.

If you think this message applies to you or people you know share my story around and help others achieve their dreams an also, please click on the link below to check out my friend's book.

http://www.amazon.com/Revelations-Twenty-one-Blades-Volume-1/dp/0473281937

Riding the Waves to a better future

Well it has been 6 months since I have put anything up on here and I have vowed to myself that I will actually start to be more consistent with my blog, I am going to get some help in regards to that so hopefully there will be more up soon so just watch this space.

I think the main roadblock I have been facing is that I’m not sure what I want this to be for (Humor, my thoughts, my life, etc.).
Once I figure out what I want to say to all of you then I should hit the ground running, I know I can ramble on in these too but hopefully, with the assistance I get in the near future I will be able to refine my writing style.

But for now I thought I would just write down a little something that I was discussing with a close friend recently, and hopefully, it reaches someone and makes a difference for them.

This time last year it felt like my life was falling apart, my girlfriend left, I was unhappy at my job, my family was having struggles, I always felt broke, and I couldn’t see anything getting better anytime soon.

Now a fault that I personally have is that when everything goes to shit for me I hold it in and I don’t really tell many people what is going on.
Thankfully the people I had talked to about everything was going on were very supportive and were always there for me to talk to or vent to when I needed it and I would not be where I am right now if I didn't have that love and support from my friends and family.

The past 6 months I have worked on being more open with people about anything I am going through.
Not to get sympathy or to make excuses for myself just to let more of my friends and family into how I feel and it has made me feel a lot better, it is very emotionally taxing to hold in all your problems and stresses are try to deal with them on your own.

The point I want to make, and the reason I am writing this is that I was talking to a friend not that long ago who is going through some rocky times and didn't know what to do, I told them what I did and as cliche as it may sound it actually worked for me.

I advised that no matter how bad things seem you need to keep positive and be thankful for the things you have and stop focusing on what is going wrong because if you do that, you miss what is going right.

They brushed it off, but I explained what I had gone through and what I did to change my mindset.
For example, my girlfriend left me but instead of being constantly down and gloomy I started to look it from another angle in that she wasn’t right for me and I wasn’t actually that happy when we were together and I would find the right girl for me.
Fast forward to now, and I have found the most amazing girl I have ever met and have never been happier (More on this amazing woman in a future blog).

I was unhappy in my job and always felt like I had no money, but I switched that to being happy because I had a job and had enough money to pay the bills and feed myself which is a lot more than other people have.

By just tweaking your mindset and thinking with a glass half full approach reduces the stress you put on yourself and the happier you are with yourself, the more things work out in your favour.
The key is just to be positive and ride the waves through any storms you face, and you will come out better on the other side.

I was struggling with just trying to think more positive, so I actually started to write down things and people I was thankful for (My blog on Christmas day was a significant step forward for my mindset where I wrote a thank you list for 2014 -  have a read if you haven’t seen it already).

If I can reach one person on here that is going through bad times and help them change their mindset than I will be happy, hopefully, this helps more than that, but one person is a good start.

The world is an amazing place with unlimited opportunities you just have to open yourself up to see it.

Until next time

Brad

To write or not to write

Hi all

I haven't updated the blog in a little while, but I have actually started trying to write my attempt of a book after 2-3 years of avoiding putting pen to pad (Or more accurately fingers to keyboard).
I have started afresh with a slightly different concept, and hopefully this time I will actually get to complete it.

But I thought I would put a section up on here and get feedback, so have a read of the below and let me know what you think and if I should continue with my story or not.

Appreciate any feedback.

The cold air hit Steve as he stared out at the Valhedge skyline from his balcony, the city was a hive of activity, and it was rubbing off on him as he hadn't slept for days.

He pushed himself away from the railing and made his way back inside towards the bathroom.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror sickened him, he was six foot two, and his muscular frame was beginning to look worse for wear.

His once jet black hair was now speckled with grey and he wore the face of a fifty-year-old when he was in fact on thirty-eight, his life as a Detective in Valhedge had aged him dramatically.

He recalled a time he had once decided to retire from this job and rushed home to let his wife Michelle know the goods news only to find her in bed with their marriage counsellor Jason Thorne.

The irony of that situation now makes him laugh but back then it was the night everything fell apart for him, and the ongoing divorce settlement was killing him slowly every day.
The legal system had always repulsed him, and he was appalled that he was being made to look like the bad guy in this divorce even though Michelle had been the one cheating.

He stared down at his gun and wondered how many times he had actually thought about ending his pain right there in that bathroom.

The job that he hated so much was now the only thing in his life that had not let him down, and because of this, he threw himself completely into the job in a way that concerned his colleagues and even disturbed himself.

His cell phone sprung to life and brought Steve back to earth, at this time of night it could only be work related, so he resisted the urge of ignoring it and picked it up.

“Detective Taylor Speaking”

“Steve word is we have a body down by the Honeypot” replied the unmistakable voice of his partner.

“Alexis what a pleasant surprise” he replied, in the dark world he inhabited the only shining light was Alexis, her upbeat attitude never faulted despite the terrible things she had seen so far in her career.

“I’m on my way there now Steve, meet me there, word from the station is that this one is a bit of a mess.”

“What do you mean by mess?” he asked,
“Well the victim is some kind of socialite and whoever killed her left a note with the body and …..” Alexis' voice trailed off as if she did not want to finish the sentence.

“Ok I will be there as soon as I can, see you soon” Steve answered realising that Alexis was uncharacteristically unsettled and it would be better to finish the conversation at the crime scene.

Steve quickly rushed to get dressed and made his way down to the Honeypot.